Martha

021505_tag

Martha

Why do you always do what you’re told

I have always wanted to tell you No

But you have proven to be my Task Master

I’m sorry , If that seems too cruel

….

I respect the balance you teach me

your message is weighted and loud

Your cadence of what I’m suppose to be

Is my every day thorn … without a crown

….

I believe that order is good

And I take heart in the golden rules

by all etiquettes I have been trained

but I suppose I could never be tamed 

….

What is it that drives you Martha ?

Do you worry the world won’t sing your praise

For me its praises are very few

and yours never last more than a day

Do you ever consider me Martha

In the box that you are contained

Is it my mind you want to master ?

Is it my heart that you cannot restrain.

….

I hope you do ponder me , Martha

Maybe we both can intertwine

Maybe someday you can be okay with me

and I can teach you to scribble outside lines.

(Luke 10:38-42)

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Judge

download

I was thinking You probably didn’t want people to get hurt Lord

But I was thinking that you allowed it.

I get mad at your decisions

I know… Who am I… To question You.

……

I was thinking You probably didn’t want people to cause so much pain Lord

But I was thinking that You allowed it

I get mad at Your decisions

I know…Who am I…To question You

……

I get it ; I understand that you have allowed free will

I think that’s fair ; even more than fair

But still …who am I…To question You

….

I was thinking about all the things you didn’t want me to do Lord

But I was thinking You wouldn’t forcibly stop me

I wish you did…

I get mad at my decisions

…..

I was thinking You should step in

You should stop hurt, stop pain, stop people

But I was thinking You would probably allow time to keep on going

I get mad at your decisions

I know… who am I… To question You

…….

I was thinking none of us deserves Your mercy

I was thinking about the cross and why you would allow it

I was thinking that we are not worthy of your decision

But then I thought …

You’re the Judge…

And who am I…

To question you.

Run

20170928_150111Run life to pass

Run hard run fast

Against the wind

With burning lungs

On ground below

Like children go

No care of heart

Or any need to know

Your legs set free

From the have to be

Run life to pass

Run hard run fast

Father of Lies

I know who you are

You whisper

You mix logic with emotion

You tie knots into reasoning

You lace guilt among true effort

…. .

I know who you are

Your beauty is uncalled for

It is just that….. a vanity

Which masks your biggest secret

….

What is your count anyway ?

How many have you found to devour

How many do you call yours

As we approach His time and hour

.. ….

I write knowing I am defiling you

Is “Vanity Fear” your only weight

For we both serve our Creator

Only for me it is not to late.

…..

I think this is what you already know

His grace is what is upon me

You gave that up ; a tool in His belt

And now a legion seeks to blind me

……..

Am I afraid ? Of course I am !

I love and must let go

But forever is my promise

As I  battle you to and fro.

 

 

 

 

Beseeched

Let not my heart be troubled

Let not my heart me troubled

Let not my heart be troubled

Walk me on the water

Write your peace on the scroll of my heart

Let not my heart be troubled

Let faith be like ink

The sea is deep

 Fear is drowning me

Let not my heart be troubled

I feel choked and all alone

Let not my heart be troubled

It won’t listen to what I say

Are you there

Can you hear me

Shall I sink and fade away

5 O’ Clock News

Be tolerant.

But judge.

Love your fellow man

But destroy their plans

……

Stand up for what is right

Then sit down because you’re wrong

All the music rhymes to hatred

And the ancients forbid new songs

….

Will  science find the cure for death

As peace talks promise the way

Will 5 O’ clock inform the answer

Or will the Pickets save the day

…..

Did you think that you had something new ?

Maybe a tune that hasnt been played ?

Our History is confined by nature

And 12 notes is all thats laid

….

The Word called love is folly

Much too common to be discerned

It’s message is weak and forgotten

Broken records turned and turned

…..

What shall you do ?

And what shall I ?

Will justice find its way ?

Maybe justice is Not Ours

Maybe it is being held at bay.

……

Its the Maestro that can only call it

Why is your hope in people changed

As the History books repeat themselves

and the Chorus sings out of range.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shadow

Today I planned to post Cinderella (Ever after) but God had other plans.

Shadow

You know that desert ?

The one you have been cursed to

The one that lasts for forty years

Maybe you haven’t recognized it yet

They all look a little different

………

It is only in making a lifetime of laps

and asking “why me”

that can lead to the abrasive answer

……..

Some things seem so far removed from the flesh

The complete opposite of who we are.

And no matter the efforts of mortal men

Or even the hopes of a good preacher

It is to the desert that we must be sent ;

For she is the last of skilled teachers

…………

If fighting demons was the obvious cure

Then I would dwell in greener lands

With the enemy mounted on my mantle

Conquered by my own two hands

…………..

It is only when we finally consider

That the master of all worthy foe

can only be found in the desert

Its reflection … our own shadow.

 

 

 

……………………………………….

Cinderella Part 2 (The Insecure Bride)

My white dress is dirty, all I can see are these stains.

All I can feel is unworthy, All I know is this shame.

I will hide away my love, I will go far from the apple tree.

I will hide away my love, where my shame can cover me.

I can’t seem to climb this mountain of flesh.

I can’t find the stone that will blind.

It is my shame that won’t be comforted

It is my own prison that I am defined.

I need your help yet once again;

Even to udder your praise do I lack.

Let me forget myself my Lord.

Let me be stumbled from looking back.

My veil you have lifted, you have broken

When you died on Calvary.

I long to be what is worthy

At your feet so lovingly.

Maybe my kisses were never mine.

Maybe they were always yours

They were formed within your garden;

To be questioned after my fall.

Even now as I wear this beautiful dress

And my faith compared to a seed.

I know it is you my heart does confess

And that my Joy is not my Deed.

 

Cinderella

Jesus are you my prince ?

Am I your Cinderella ?

Is God the King ?

Where do fairy tales come from anyway ?

Do they all derive from your original story ?

I think they do.

I never planned my wedding day,

when I was a young girl.

I never put much thought into a day.

I was only glad to have survived my yesterdays.

But I have found it to be Instinctual.

That you are my essential Prince.

I have washed so many floors for years.

Do I have a pretty dress ?

My work seems so unclear

A blur that I have spun.

Are you my song of songs ?

When will you come for me ?

My Prince, My Heart , My everything.

Is my lamp sufficient with oil ?

I fear you will pass me by.

Is there another that is better ?

Is there another that can reach the sky ?

Oh how I long to be that one

the cherished love of yours.

Among my maidens true

Will you stop to look upon my face ?

because it is you my Lord I look upon

as I toil in this place.

 

The Tug of War

It is better to look up than to look down.
Looking up motivates the reception of hope.
While Looking down only causes you to … well,

count the cost.

It is better to look up than to look down

Looking up gives you the consent to be weak
as you admit you need ; that your tired ; that you might be empty.

It is better to look up than to look down

Looking down tallies your inventory your most valuables
and demands its dues.

It is better to look up than to look down
even though it may ask you to wear the coat of a beggar and wave a white flag.

It is better to look up than to look down
Although Looking up asks the question…

Will you Lord ?

Will you Look Down ?

Will you give me a portion of your surplus ?

It is better to look up then to look down

looking down can be a liar and encourages the refusal of comfort.

I Dont know if he will sometimes … look down and give to me from His surplus

Sometimes Im afraid because I know I am not worthy …

Yet He promised.

So I will try to keep looking up..

Because looking down has nothing to offer.